I Once Was a Secret Admirer
by Lost.Somewhere.Out.There
Summary: Okay, so I bet that you all want to know what exactly her ‘secret’ admirer did. Well it took a lot of hard work. I actually went into the library on my own free will. Well, technically, this thing called ‘love’ forced me to, but whatever. RR!
1. You Don't Know

I Once Was a Secret Admirer

Chapter 1:

_One more kiss could be the best thing  
But one more lie could be the worst  
And all these thoughts are never resting  
And you're not something I deserve_

She doesn't realize I can be a sensitive and caring person. Shows what she knows. I know! Let's play a game! I'm going to tell you all the things that she doesn't know:

She doesn't know that I can be sensitive and caring.

She doesn't know the full meaning of how quidditch feels to Harry and I.

She doesn't know how annoying she is when she knows all the answers.

She doesn't know how to have fun.

She doesn't know how pretty she is.

She doesn't know that guys stare at her _all _the time.

She doesn't know that I was jealous of Krum.

And she _definitely _doesn't know that I am her secret admirer.

Yeah, I know, you don't believe me. Neither would she.

It was all great, and I got the reaction that I wanted the most. Meaning, she completely went into school-girl frenzy mode, and she said that she wished she knew who it was because she wanted to tell them personally that she was very 'touched'.

Okay, so I bet that you all want to know what exactly her 'secret' admirer did. Well it took a lot of hard work. I actually went into the_ library_ on my own free will. Well, technically, this thing called 'love' forced me to, but whatever.

I sent her a single red rose with a poem attached to it.

_**Things base and vile, holding no quantity,  
Love can transpose to form and dignity.  
Love looks not with the eye, but with the mind,  
And therefore is winged,**_

**_Cupid painted blind.  
-_****_William Shakespeare_**

I don't even know who that Shakespeare guy is, but he writes good poems.

Hopefully no one suspects it to be me. What good would a secret admirer be if someone knew your so called 'secret'?

_In my head there's only you now  
This world falls on me  
In this world there's real and make believe  
And this seems real to me_

* * *

They are freaking out way too much about this. Hermione and Ginny are, I mean. Shouldn't I be the one freaking out? I'm the one who sent it! 

"You are so lucky Hermione! A sweet guy likes you! How come I get stuck with all the airheads?"

"Well actually-" I started.

"Shove it, Ron!"

I shrugged and they continued talking.

"I know. I just…wish I knew who it was."

I know something you don't know, but I'm not going to tell you! I tried to suppress my laugh. I admit, sometimes I'm a little bit immature.

"You guys are positive you don't have the slightest idea who it was?"

"Positive." I said.

"Affirmative." Said Ginny.

"Not a clue." Said Harry.

She sighed.

I wanted to tell her, but I couldn't, for the sake of our friendship.

_You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand  
And you love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Let me go_

* * *

Everyone else had gone off to bed. It was just Hermione and I in the Common Room now. She was working hard on her essay, while I had my work strewn across the couch. I had given up long ago. 

I watched as she finished writing and quickly checked over it.

"Done." She said as she neatly stacked her books. I turned away and watched the fire as it blazed in the fireplace.

She sighed and smiled dreamily. "I think I'm in love."

My head snapped up. "With who?" I looked at her questioningly.

"My secret admirer."

"You know who it is?"

She frowned with a look of disappointment on her face. "No."

"Then how are you in love?"

"I don't know, what that guy did was just so…romantic. Plus, no one has ever done something like that to me before. I guess the whole thing is just greatly appreciated."

I kept staring questioningly at her.

_I dream ahead to what I hope for  
And I turn my back on loving you  
How can this love be a good thing  
Not knowing what I'm going through_

My plan wasn't working. She was already _supposed _to be in love with me. She's falling for a guy that she doesn't know; the side of me I never show._  
_

"That does sound funny doesn't it? I'm in love with someone that I may or may not even know. I just hope that this guy will eventually tell me. Though if he doesn't, I'll understand."

"Why would you understand?"

"Well I know what its like to love someone who doesn't know you, or someone that you've known for a long time, but were too scared to tell. It was brave enough that this guy took a step forward and showed me that he loved me. Even if I _still _don't know who he is."

"So you're not mad at him for not saying it in person?"

"Well I'm a little upset, but it's the thought that counts, right?"

"Sure…. Is there anyone who you want it to be?"

"Well…" She hesitated, " Not really, I just hope its not some first year or something."

I started laughing.

_In my head there's only you now  
This world falls on me  
In this world there's real and make believe  
And this seems real to me_

"It's not funny! Anyway, I need to go to bed. I'll see you tomorrow, Ron." We smiled at each other and said goodnight.

I sat there for a little while. I decided I should send her something else. This time I'll write the poem.

"_You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand  
You love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Just let me go...  
Let me go_

_P.S. Just so you don't worry…I'm not in Slytherin, but that's all that I can tell you, at least for now. By the way, don't show this to anyone. I might have a surprise."_

* * *

I woke up early the next morning and brought it down to the owlery. I quietly tiptoed back up to my room and went to sleep. 

_And no matter how hard I try  
I can't escape these things inside I know  
I knowww..  
When all the pieces fall apart  
You will be the only one who knows  
Who knows…_

* * *

**A/N: It's not a one-shot! It's going to be either two or three chapters. Not a long story. Anyway, Read and Review!**

**(Do you love or hate?)**

**The song in the chapters is 'Let Me Go' by 3 Doors Down!**


	2. Who I Am

I Once Was a

Chapter 2:

Yes! I got permission from Dumbledore to do it! Now all I have to do is go get ready. This should be interesting. By the way, she didn't show anyone her Secret Admirer note thing. She was so elated that she got another one. I hope…I just hope that if this isn't true…that maybe we'll still be friends. I can only hope…

* * *

Everyone stared at me. I was standing on the teachers' table with a microphone in hand. The teachers were in the back of the Great Hall whispering to each other.

Suddenly I was very nervous.

"Umm well most of you are probably wondering what I'm doing up here, and well… I'd like to dedicate this song to…someone… when you hear it you will know who you are."

Everyone was looking at each other, as if accusing the other of knowing what they didn't.

The music began, and I started singing:

"_One more kiss could be the best thing  
But one more lie could be the worst  
And all these thoughts are never resting  
And you're not something I deserve _

In my head there's only you now  
This world falls on me  
In this world there's real and make believe  
And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand  
And you love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Let me go

I dream ahead to what I hope for  
And I turn my back on loving you  
How can this love be a good thing  
not knowing what I'm going through

In my head there's only you now  
This world falls on me  
In this world there's real and make believe  
And this seems real to me

You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand  
You love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Just Let me go...  
Let me go

And no matter how hard I try  
I can't escape these things inside I know  
I know..  
When all the pieces fall apart  
You will be the only one who knows  
Who knows

You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand  
And you love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Just let me go

A you me but you don't  
You love me but you don't  
You love me but you don' know who I am  
And you love me but you don't  
You love me but you don't  
You love me but you don't know me."

I laid the microphone down, and sat back down at my table. People were clapping and patting me on the back.

I fixed my plate and looked up to find Hermione staring openmouthed at me. "Y-You're _him_?"

I nodded.

"Well, brother of mine," Ginny began, "I'm wondering now who exactly you think you are."

I smiled mischievously at her. "I once was a secret admirer, but I'm not quite sure anymore."

"Y-"

"Excuse me Ginny, but I think I know exactly who he is." Hermione said icily as she glared at me.

We looked at her, frightened.

She continued, "He is the sweetest, hottest, funniest , bravest, most romantic guy I have ever met." She smiled genuinely at me while I smiled back.

I cupped the back of my head like a pillow, and leaned back into my chair.

"Ahhh!"

Too bad I wasn't in a chair. I fell backwards and landed on my back. Everyone started laughing at me.

"Did I mention that he is extremely stupid and screams like a girl?"

Harry laughed with an odd glint in his eye. "No, I think you forgot that."

A/N: That's it! This chapter isn't the best I've ever written so I might ,in a couple of weeks, take it down and put up a different version! Tell me what you think! Should I write it in a different version?

R/R!

Thanks to all of you that reviewed the last chapter!


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